Narcotics Anonymous

Just For Today - Daily Email Service

   July 17                                           Using our "using dreams"

   "Do we fully accept the fact that our every attempt to stop using or to
                          control our using failed?"

                                                            Basic Text, p. 19

                           ----=----

   The room is dark.  Your forehead is bathed in cold sweat.  Your heart is
   racing.  You open your eyes, sure that you've just blown your clean
   time.   You've had a "using dream," and it was just like being
   there-the people, the places, the routine, the sick feeling in your
   stomach, everything.   It takes a few moments to realize it was just a
   nightmare, that it didn't actually happen.  Slowly, you settle down and
   return to sleep.

   The next morning is the time to examine what really happened the night
   before.  You didn't use last night-but how close are you to using
   today?   Do you have any illusions about your ability to control your
   using?  Do you know, without a doubt, what would happen once you took the
   first drug?  What stands between you and a real, live relapse?  How strong
   is your program?  Your relationships with your sponsor, your home group,
   and your Higher Power?

   Using dreams don't necessarily indicate a hole in our program; for a
   drug addict, there's nothing more natural than to dream of using drugs.
   Some of us think of using dreams as gifts from our Higher Power, vividly
   reminding us of the insanity of active addiction and encouraging us to
   strengthen our recovery.  Seen in that light, we can be grateful for using
   dreams.    Frightening as  they are, they can  prove to be  great
   blessings-if we use them to reinforce our recovery.

                           ----=----

   Just for today:  I will examine my personal program.  I will talk with my
   sponsor about what I find, and seek ways to strengthen my recovery.